As you’re going around town working to get stuff done, did you know that it’s not so much what you say or how you say it but how you vibe that determines how your interactions with others will go? People are tremendously perceptive. Many are experts in body language and decoding a vibe, and they don’t even know it. You can be certain that others sense your vibe well before they can even make a logical argument to explain what they think of you.

Can you do anything about what others think of you? Should you even try? No, don’t even try, not directly anyway. Taking direct action meant to control what others think of you is a waste of energy. Instead, use the indirect method by working on your vibration. Create time and space to focus on feeling good. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time, less than 5 minutes. And it doesn’t have to be a big production either. In fact, the simpler the better!

Now some people might think that I’m talking about meditating every day. For many that could work. Meditation is a great way to bump the vibration up for some people. Personally, I find meditation a better tool to get more in touch with intuition. Reaching for the feeling of love and appreciation and the sweetness of life during meditation is a great way to use daily meditation too.

There are lots of other ways to feel your vibration soar each day, though. Listening to your favorite music works. Especially songs that you believe have a good beat and make you feel like enjoying life.

Getting outdoors is another great way to raise your vibe. Whatever you can do outside that helps you notice the beauty of nature and absorb the majesty of life. You could do an activity like fishing or hiking. You could just gaze at the mountains, trees, or oceans.

The Leading Questions Game is another simple option. Think of questions to ask yourself to get a good feeling response. Ask a question then give yourself a few seconds to come up with something. So you might say “Who can I appreciate right now?” or “What has been the happiest moment of my life so far?” or “If I felt like a powerful force for good right now, how would I feel.”

Make it a priority to take the time to raise your vibe intentionally for a few minutes each day. Find ways that work for you and you will find life easier and easier as you are received better by others. You’ll also notice that your timing is perfect more often.

There are powerful people around us all the time. People who either help us create the next part of our life story in a powerfully positive way or people who help us rehash our old story. Relationships are about the potential of the next part of your story. Through your relationships you become more of who you are. Much of the juice of life comes from interactions with others too. Different teachers and mentors come into our lives through our relationships. Even as we live our lives and have our experiences, we can maintain a fundamental view of others as people with the potential to connect meaningfully with us. Through times of connection, we all learn something new about ourselves.

It’s human nature to look to others to make us feel good. One of the best feelings ever happens when we look into someone’s eyes as we laugh with them. It’s so easy to appreciate the moment when that happens. But remember, no one else is responsible for how you feel. Would you even want them to be? I don’t care to be that dependent on anyone. I don’t control how others feel and no one but me is responsible for how I feel. Remember that. Maybe it will help you as it has me. We all can steer our emotions in a direction that feels good. To do so, we must monitor what we are thinking about and focusing on and exercise intention and discipline in that regard.

You are worthy, and your perspective is valid. You have a unique point of view and it matters. You matter, whether anyone else recognizes that in any moment or not. Do not be dependent on other people’s opinion of you for your own happiness. That being said, strive to make appreciation the whole point of your interaction with others. That appreciation will strengthen you, even though at first glance it might feel like something you are doing for someone else.

Your Surprising Responsibility

Of course, you can see the benefit of everyone being happy. You can certainly focus on how you would feel if everyone were happy. You can even intentionally notice happy people. You cannot, however, assist a single person to feel different unless he or she allows it.

You have the best chance of enjoying your relationships if you focus on one main priority: Your number one responsibility is to feel good. Feeling good is powerful. That is the place you must start for improved relationships. You are a positive influence and a force for good when you feel good. You will bring people up all around you when you are feeling good, and people will benefit from being around your positive energy. But remember, they are not your priority. They can, and likely will, come up to meet you at your higher vibe. That’s superb, but it must not be the main priority. Put on your own oxygen mask first!

You can be an example of a person who focuses on the positive as you go through your life feeling good and in your personal power more often than not. You can act on your inspiration. You can send positive vibes to people who are unhappy. You can intend a better life for them. You can trust in their ability to find happiness the same as can for yourself. You can know that it’s possible for all people to find their way to some happiness at some point. You can help others notice something positive to focus on if they choose to cooperate but remember you are not responsible for how others feel.

Feeling good is a natural way of being. You feel bad by focusing on something that makes you feel bad. Now that you know this secret to a good life, take notice when you are feeling bad and intentionally change your focus.

Let Them Create

When we blame others as the reason for our unhappiness, we can quickly lose empathy for them. Once that happens, we subconsciously give ourselves permission to treat them badly, or just generally have a negative vibe concerning them, and a cycle of negativity begins. This is not a good foundation for enjoyable relationships or connection with others.

Instead, realize that other people are simply having a different emotional experience, and that is to be expected. Everyone is coming from unique perspectives. We all have challenges that take time to recognize and to learn from. Instead of pointing out the idiocy you see in others, change your focus. Don’t comment on it under your breath or encourage others to focus on something negative. Free yourself up to focus on something you do like. That is the beginning of something powerful.

We can learn to be more patient with ourselves and with others.

You can’t change others, but you can change your thoughts and feelings about them. You must clearly understand that you cannot control how others feel. Why would you want to? Don’t push against them when you can be doing something so much more beneficial to yourself. When you release them to their own creations, you free yourself up to focus on yours. There is no more joy in this world than focusing on what you want and creating it.

Control Your Focus

It is imperative to be disciplined about where we focus in order to have satisfying relationships.

Don’t let your mind wander to those things that you find annoying about them at the moment. Instead, cut them a break. Have a general statement at the ready when you begin to go off in a negative direction about someone. Say to yourself, “I’m sure they’re doing their best,” or “Easy does it, focus elsewhere.” The important thing is to release yourself from going on a long dialog about how they suck.

Control your focus to feel good. It’s the only thing you do have control of. You can’t control others or at-the-moment situations you find yourself in, but you can control what you think about and give your attention to.

You can create a new and improved experience with people you consider yourself “stuck” with too. Just start a new habit of appreciating their strengths. Notice and remember what you liked about them when you first met them. Get clear on what you want to see in them. What you like about them. Look for the smallest indication of it and truly appreciate it.

Believe in those around you. Believe in the best of them to see more of it. Do the same for yourself, and do that first! Every accomplishment and thing of beauty comes about because somebody believed in somebody.

Expectations

I get what I expect and allow.

…I expect cooperation.

…I expect beauty.

…I expect love.

…I expect friendship.

…I expect joy.

…I expect laughter.

…I expect fun.

…I expect wellness.

…I expect cool experiences.

I expect and allow all that I enjoy.

SHOW NOTES:

Often we think other people are responsible for how we perceive them. Of course that’s not true since we are the only ones responsible for where we focus and how we interpret whatever data we take in. That’s something we can really use in our favor! It just takes a determination to focus on what can be appreciated and nothing else, which gets easier and easier with practice.

We all have different intentions for our lives, different lessons we want to learn, and that’s okay. There are some on the same path and there are some on different or even completely opposite paths. Especially with loved ones and close friends, you may notice particular ideals they have that are surprisingly resistant to your attempts to coach or teach them otherwise. We can let them be. They are most likely working on exactly what they intended to work on. The clock is not broken. That’s the thing with life lessons, they take time to learn.

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Audible Books
Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer
The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss
The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss

Irresistible You

The Four-Letter Word That Makes You and Your Work Irresistible by Mark Sanborn.

Just right click on image below and choose “save link as” to read the pdf file on your computer. Enjoy!

irresistible-you

SHOW NOTES:

Isn’t so much about decision making really concern for what others will think? In this episode, Stevie talks about the freedom that comes with understanding that no one has a better perspective on the choices you are making than you. So going around and taking a poll of what everyone thinks of the possibilities, though maybe fun, is often only a distraction from you and your own authority for yourself and your ability to make the best choices for you.

SHOW NOTES:

I notice those people who walk around being themselves with no concern of what others think. I find them so brave! When you start noticing those people fearlessly being themselves, it becomes so easy to contrast them with those who constantly hold themselves back for whatever reason. I can relate with those people who hold themselves back. I’ve been there and it was literally life-changing to really grasp what it is I have control over. Hint: It’s not what other people think! Stepping into your full personal power starts with something you may not have considered before too. Hint: It rhymes with unconditional lelf-sove. We are talking about one of the most powerful ways we can be of service in the world.