It can be discouraging how much a mom tends to miss out on that she would like to do or in many cases what she needs to do to fill her own bucket. Part of it is just the sacrifice of being a parent, sure, and in the great scheme of things this sacrifice is only temporary. Kids don’t need us constantly for very long.
Moms do need to recharge and rejuvenate on a regular basis to do their best work, just like everyone else. One strategy is to put boundaries around yourself for what you require, getting help from family or hired people if you can. Another strategy is to get creative about how to rejuvenate quickly with some regular activity: early morning exercise or meditation, or late night bath and reading. Those kinds of things.
Most helpful to me when I get stuck choosing to stay behind is to ask myself if my kids are still my highest value. That confirmed, then I convince myself to be patient because this precious time of being with my young kids will not last forever…though parenting is a marathon and some exhaustion is to be expected.
Oh also, could be nice to be opportunistic about the one who stays back with a parent. Great chance for one-to-one time with that one.