In the past ten years, I haven’t taken comments on my blog. I’ve researched it and thought about it several times. I think I’ve even turned them on for a day or two, then gotten uncomfortable and turned them off again real quick like…that sounds familiar. Maybe it’s an introvert thing or maybe it’s something else.

You may be thinking, “It seems like a blog should have comments. It seems like that’s one of the essential things that make a blog, well, a blog. So what’s your problem, Stevie?”

Mainly three things.

The first thing is that I don’t want to deal with spam. It’s a deterrent. Until bloggers can launch a counter attack at spammers with warrior code like the one Holly Ashwin develops in Kresley Cole’s paranormal romance, Dark Desires After Dusk, I just don’t have the inclination to be a sitting goose.

The second thing is that my posts probably wouldn’t generate many keeper comments. I don’t have much traffic. I also don’t tend to write in a way that encourages comments since that’s not the purpose for my writing, and I don’t want it to be. I don’t want to change my style or my choice of topics to generate comments. That feels too much like playing to the audience while I want to strive for authenticity and being my weird self. I can’t do that too well when I’m anticipating comments.

Thirdly, and this is the weird one, I don’t like people coming to my workspace and putting their post-it notes on my computer screen. Guess I’m territorial like that. I just like my space the way I like it. Also, I really do like to encourage people to create their own space. I think it can be a very good thing for most people. I like having a home base from which to share my perspective. Maybe you would too?

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A New Start Again

I’ve had a blog since 2006. That’s ten years now! I’ve started over numerous times…too many to count and still feel good. The thing is, I still want one. I want to communicate and share information. I thrive on being a source of it (a nod to my 10th house Gemini Moon).

My motivations have changed, though. In the past, I was building a portfolio, marketing an info product, and always wanting very much to help others. I’ve been strategizing for years about how to best be of service while making lots of money and how to do it without disrupting my family at all. It’s been a puzzle that tied me in knots and limited my progress. I still haven’t figured out that puzzle, but I’m ready to give up on it in favor of savoring each moment without a sophisticated plan or goals in mind.

That’s where my new start with this blog comes in at this Aries New Moon. I want to post more often about what I’m doing and learning. I want to tell my own story more often. I want to keep it simple and authentic. I’m going to do it because I enjoy it, no other reason.

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031-istock-origAstrology is a tool that offers leaps in understanding when embraced as a symbolic language. I look at it as one tool in the toolbox. Like, “I’m gonna pick up my screwdriver now and work on this project.” Or for astrology, “I’m going to pick up my natal chart now and see what insights I discover.”

I’m not a fan of using astrology for every single question. It is wonderful for seeing potential life lesson insights, though. It can help bring clarity quickly. As Steven Forrest wrote, “Astrology’s principle advantage is speed.” Astrology offers a way to focus on insights for certain areas of life and help you problem solve at any given time too.

You are probably familiar with your Sun sign even if you haven’t ever done much work learning the symbolic language of astrology at all. For example, you most likely know you are a Pisces or Taurus.

Sun sign descriptions are a nice way to open the door to a little bit of the language and symbolism of astrology. There are a lot more pieces that can be added to tap into the useful information to consider for practical relevance to your life. Whole paragraphs can be added such as, in general: how others tend to see you, what you are best known for, how you learn best, how to best nurture yourself, what makes your heart soar, what you are spontaneously willing to take action on, information about your life purpose, and many other useful pieces of information to consider.

Astrology can reveal new ideas for solutions that you have not thought of before. Then you try the new approach in your life and find out for yourself if the idea worked. I love to use astrology in this very practical way.

Because of the law of attraction, always take descriptions offered to the high side for ideas to consider going forward. For example, low side keywords to consider for Aquarius include detached, unpredictable, and arrogant. Whereas high side keywords include visionary, altruistic, perceptive, funny, and unique. You can find many more examples of keywords for all of the 12 signs to consider online. There are multiple potential interpretations for every piece in astrology. Remember to focus on the positive as you go.

The place to start is to get a copy of your natal chart. It is all done by computer software. You can get a free natal chart online at astro.cafeastrology.com. Just click on “Birth Chart” once you get there. You will need your birth date, birth time, and birth place to generate a chart.

Then you can look at a cheat sheet such as this one or, my long-time favorite, this one.

One of the first things I look at when I look at a chart is the placement of the north node by house and sign. Which gives the big picture idea of hints into life purpose. North node placement can help you sync up with a way of being that can help move you forward towards everything that you want in life. It’s a very big picture view, and it’s a lifelong journey. But you can know that as you lean in the direction of that north node, you’re heading in a good direction for personal growth. The insights and clarity from taking a look at that north node can be priceless.

Next, I often look for the Sun and Moon sign and placements. Just these bits of info provide inspirational ideas to consider and synthesize for self-growth.

Did you know that there are things to look at in your natal chart that can give ideas to consider for career too? At the top of your chart will be a sign that indicates what others quickly recognize about you. When you combine that info with your moon sign and your Mars sign you can gather some helpful ideas that can point to practical steps to try in your career.

And you can gain insights about yourself in all kinds of relationships too. For important partnerships, such life partners, look at the 7th house cusp. So, if you have Aquarius on the 7th house cusp of partnership and identifying with others, lean into being altruistic, perceptive, and funny in relationships…or any of the other high side keywords for Aquarius that resonate with you. Consider that might be the type of person you attract as well.

Now if you want to take a look at how you can take it to the high side as a parent, look at the 5th house cusp and see what sign is there then take the keywords to the high side again, see which ones resonate with you. With siblings look at the 3rd house cusp. With co-workers, look at the 6th house cusp.

I truly believe positive astrology work can result in clarity and life-enhancing ideas to try as well as a deepening of self-understanding.

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Topic 1) define waking up

  • A process of becoming aware that you can be fully engaged in life and spiritually connected to your Higher Self / God / Love on a moment by moment basis.
  • Times when you feel spiritually connected and in the flow happen more often. In between those phases are times when you are back to feeling human/ego again.
  • The pace picks up and you find yourself feeling whole more and more often but there are still those times when you “crash.”

Topic 2) thoughts on crashing

  • Surprisingly enough, there are painful crashes along the path for a time though they shorten in duration. Recovery comes faster and faster but it seems you shouldn’t be able to be knocked down like that.
  • The pain of crashing is due to the difference between how your average vibe raises yet being in the dumps is a low vibe. For a while, the increasing difference between levels causes pain as habitual reactions echo then begin to fade away.

Topic 3) thoughts on self-nurturing

  • The more you practice getting yourself out of a crash with self-nurturing, the more ideas and ways you have to recover and you learn to enjoy R&R time.
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There are powerful people around us all the time. People who either help us create the next part of our life story in a powerfully positive way or people who help us rehash our old story. Relationships are about the potential of the next part of your story. Through your relationships you become more of who you are. Much of the juice of life comes from interactions with others too. Different teachers and mentors come into our lives through our relationships. Even as we live our lives and have our experiences, we can maintain a fundamental view of others as people with the potential to connect meaningfully with us. Through times of connection, we all learn something new about ourselves.

It’s human nature to look to others to make us feel good. One of the best feelings ever happens when we look into someone’s eyes as we laugh with them. It’s so easy to appreciate the moment when that happens. But remember, no one else is responsible for how you feel. Would you even want them to be? I don’t care to be that dependent on anyone. I don’t control how others feel and no one but me is responsible for how I feel. Remember that. Maybe it will help you as it has me. We all can steer our emotions in a direction that feels good. To do so, we must monitor what we are thinking about and focusing on and exercise intention and discipline in that regard.

You are worthy, and your perspective is valid. You have a unique point of view and it matters. You matter, whether anyone else recognizes that in any moment or not. Do not be dependent on other people’s opinion of you for your own happiness. That being said, strive to make appreciation the whole point of your interaction with others. That appreciation will strengthen you, even though at first glance it might feel like something you are doing for someone else.

Your Surprising Responsibility

Of course, you can see the benefit of everyone being happy. You can certainly focus on how you would feel if everyone were happy. You can even intentionally notice happy people. You cannot, however, assist a single person to feel different unless he or she allows it.

You have the best chance of enjoying your relationships if you focus on one main priority: Your number one responsibility is to feel good. Feeling good is powerful. That is the place you must start for improved relationships. You are a positive influence and a force for good when you feel good. You will bring people up all around you when you are feeling good, and people will benefit from being around your positive energy. But remember, they are not your priority. They can, and likely will, come up to meet you at your higher vibe. That’s superb, but it must not be the main priority. Put on your own oxygen mask first!

You can be an example of a person who focuses on the positive as you go through your life feeling good and in your personal power more often than not. You can act on your inspiration. You can send positive vibes to people who are unhappy. You can intend a better life for them. You can trust in their ability to find happiness the same as can for yourself. You can know that it’s possible for all people to find their way to some happiness at some point. You can help others notice something positive to focus on if they choose to cooperate but remember you are not responsible for how others feel.

Feeling good is a natural way of being. You feel bad by focusing on something that makes you feel bad. Now that you know this secret to a good life, take notice when you are feeling bad and intentionally change your focus.

Let Them Create

When we blame others as the reason for our unhappiness, we can quickly lose empathy for them. Once that happens, we subconsciously give ourselves permission to treat them badly, or just generally have a negative vibe concerning them, and a cycle of negativity begins. This is not a good foundation for enjoyable relationships or connection with others.

Instead, realize that other people are simply having a different emotional experience, and that is to be expected. Everyone is coming from unique perspectives. We all have challenges that take time to recognize and to learn from. Instead of pointing out the idiocy you see in others, change your focus. Don’t comment on it under your breath or encourage others to focus on something negative. Free yourself up to focus on something you do like. That is the beginning of something powerful.

We can learn to be more patient with ourselves and with others.

You can’t change others, but you can change your thoughts and feelings about them. You must clearly understand that you cannot control how others feel. Why would you want to? Don’t push against them when you can be doing something so much more beneficial to yourself. When you release them to their own creations, you free yourself up to focus on yours. There is no more joy in this world than focusing on what you want and creating it.

Control Your Focus

It is imperative to be disciplined about where we focus in order to have satisfying relationships.

Don’t let your mind wander to those things that you find annoying about them at the moment. Instead, cut them a break. Have a general statement at the ready when you begin to go off in a negative direction about someone. Say to yourself, “I’m sure they’re doing their best,” or “Easy does it, focus elsewhere.” The important thing is to release yourself from going on a long dialog about how they suck.

Control your focus to feel good. It’s the only thing you do have control of. You can’t control others or at-the-moment situations you find yourself in, but you can control what you think about and give your attention to.

You can create a new and improved experience with people you consider yourself “stuck” with too. Just start a new habit of appreciating their strengths. Notice and remember what you liked about them when you first met them. Get clear on what you want to see in them. What you like about them. Look for the smallest indication of it and truly appreciate it.

Believe in those around you. Believe in the best of them to see more of it. Do the same for yourself, and do that first! Every accomplishment and thing of beauty comes about because somebody believed in somebody.

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