40. On Frustration for Robin

Frustration seems like such an impotent emotion: you’re too spun up to continue effectively, and you’re too on edge to just rest and wait.

Left unchecked frustration can lead to stupid mistakes and embarrassment. Even more, frustration left unchecked can lead you right to your favorite unhealthy coping behavior. And frustration, in general, is just not a place abundant people tend to hang out. By “abundant people,” I mean people who are genuinely enjoying life.

Here’s the good news. You can make an intention to experience less frustration in your life. You can strategize how to do that and what you will do differently next time you’re frustrated. What are you going to do differently? I have some ideas that I share in this episode.

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Making the World a Better Place

Giving people near and far the benefit of the doubt as often as possible about the little mundane things in life helps to make you a force for good and the World, in general, a better place.

In the final sum of things though, it probably helps you most of all. It helps to keep stress levels low and keeps you focused on more of what you want rather than fussing about all you see that you don’t appreciate.

It helps to realize in advance the kinds of relationship transactions you prefer and to appreciate them when you see them. You can also lean towards patience with others by knowing that everyone is doing the best they can at the moment, just like you are.

Less Pain for You

One of the books I’ve been reading this week is Atomic Habits by James Clear. I can recommend it. There are many great ideas and stories there.

The purpose of this post is to share one idea that made me laugh out loud.

The Truth About Talent is the title for chapter 18. In it, James outlines a series of questions to help you hone in on the area you should focus on, based on your personality and genetics, to have the best chance of success. He mentions that you can find your niche by noticing that thing that you do that causes you less pain then it causes others!

The mark of whether you are made for a task is not whether you love it but whether you can handle the pain of the task easier than other people.

~James Clear, Atomic Habits

I found that hilarious but real. It’s another way of finding your strengths. Usually, the idea is to list what people often ask you to do. Or you list things others often appreciate that you do. It’s a way of recognizing something that is so obvious to other people but which you find so easy as to render it invisible to you.

The work that hurts you less than it hurts others is the work you are made to do.

~James Clear, Atomic Habits

Based on our natural inclination to compare ourselves to others, it becomes straightforward to remember and to recognize such tasks. I found James Clear’s questions in this section helped me realize several qualities I hadn’t entirely clarified for myself. Although his wording made me giggle, the question can help with identifying essential distinctions to consider in career choice.

Try it and see if the idea helps you become more aware of your own unique combination of personal qualities that should be a part of your professional brand and daily focus in your work.