Easy Does It

An excerpt from my book Bliss Or Bust: Uplifting Thoughts follows.

In relationships, learn to give very little or no attention to what you don’t want to see more of. Doing this may seem counter-intuitive because bringing attention to what we don’t like and starting a discussion about what others should do differently is a more common strategy. Realize that talking about what is not wanted gives intentional focus to it, and soon that unwanted behavior seems more significant and harder to ignore.

Instead, try a practice of not initiating and not encouraging further discussion about things that aren’t appreciated. Instead, have a key phrase at the ready to say to yourself such as “easy does it,” “back off, Tiger,” or “I can only change me.” Identify and use a phrase to remind yourself to change your direction of focus to something that you do want.