On Negativity

People can be real jerks sometimes. I know you know that. Just because someone else is choosing to feel miserable or to be negative doesn’t mean you have to let that invade your energy level. You don’t have to focus on that. You can maintain your vibe so they don’t bring you down to theirs. Here’s the trick: Use their negativity as a reminder.

• Use it as a reminder of how you don’t want to be and why. Hint: One has to be feeling pretty bad to be so negative.
• Remember that they are free to create just like you are.
• Use it to remind you of the opposite emotion or vibration and how you do want to feel. This is a technique called “Pivoting” that Esther Hicks coined years ago.
• Use it appreciation the wisdom you have about how you can focus differently and feel better.
• Use it to set intentions for how you want to feel going forward.
• Use it to remember the importance of controlling your focus.

For example, if someone treats you badly or is negative or gruff, instead of letting them dominate the airwaves, use them as a cue in your own mind to think, “Boy, do I appreciate that I’m not miserable or upset or angry like that person.” And then maybe think something like, “That reminds me that I always want to be kind, that I want to be happy, gentle, and kind,” and “It makes me appreciate the goodness I notice in most people.” This reaction is better than getting hung up focusing on their negativity which would certainly bring your vibe down and cause you to notice more negativity in the future.

To the extent that you can clear that type of negativity out of your zone, all the better but it’s not necessary. Even in ongoing relationships, it just takes one person shining brightly to dominate with positive vibes and uplift others by doing so. A big part of it is to realize that you don’t have control of them and what they are choosing to focus on. And, it takes unconditional love. They don’t have to be different in order for you to love them. Understand, they are doing the best they can at the moment, just like you are. Don’t even waste your energy trying to change them. Love them where they are. Keep a light focus if you don’t like what you see, or look the other way. Know they can rise to meet you on a higher level of vibration whenever they want to. They may want to sooner rather than later when they see how much fun you’re having up there.