All that happened before is part of the process that brought you to now. And that is all. Just a step along the way. If you notice that you often look back with regret for how you handled a situation or decision, try letting it go. You can be sure you did the best you could with the info you had at the time. You can also try switching your thinking to something more relevant — like how you want to feel now.
The past does not deserve any of your present focus unless you can use past memories to help you feel good now. For example, remembering how you felt during especially joyous experiences in your life, or remembering times you’ve felt certain ways that you want to feel again: like when you’ve felt lucky, adventurous, inspired, sexy, or proud.
I’ve got a great view today as I take my son and his friend to Sedona, Arizona, to visit the mountain bike festival. They are too thrilled to get a chance to go, if only for a day due to tight schedules, and I am happy to be the driver and escort.
After perusing the vendor tents quickly and, of course, seeing what lunch has in store at the food trucks, the boys wanted to make a run to a trail they wanted to hit while here. It’s like a dream for them, and we’re getting it done before the rain comes.
How cool it is that I can sit on this rock during a break in my hike and write a post to share and send out right away and from right here!
Trips like this have been the joy of homeschooling for me. Traveling is expensive and often inconvenient, but our adventures provide bonding time, priceless memories, and learning experiences for us all. We talk about budgeting and logistics and how to work within the system, among other things like the culture and history of the area, and all these things come up naturally in the process.
My next favorite part of the unschooling process has been how the kids get me interested in activities that I quite likely never would have explored otherwise.
It was quite a switch; I have to admit, to learn to pull back on what I wanted to show them and let them show me what they wanted to show me instead, especially about athletic activities.
I placed my kids in all the sports that my husband and I liked to play as kids, such as swimming, gymnastics, soccer, basketball, volleyball, and tennis. They pretty much wanted nothing of it except for swimming when they were tiny and tennis when they were in elementary school. That dumbfounded me because I loved those activities so much.
But after a couple of years of homeschooling, I learned to sit back and let them come to me with ideas, and I would occasionally ask them what they wanted to try when lulls occurred. It was magical how they stepped up with enthusiasm in many activities that I never thought to offer.
I learned that when I gave them space, they took the lead, and that’s precisely what I wanted to develop in them, personal responsibility and the ability to take the initiative.
There are many ways your intuition can get a message to you. You will start to pick them up once you’ve learned to quiet the mental chatter.
You might notice a certain song gets stuck in your head out of nowhere or when listening to music you might notice some words suddenly get highlighted. Or, you might notice images that seem to be brought into focus.
Someone who speaks to you could say certain words that bridge a connection for you, or you might just feel a tingle in your body that lets you know an idea is resonating.
Very importantly, notice the words you say to others. Those words are often meant for you too, especially if you find opportunity to say the same things over again to different people in the same day. Others are a mirror reflecting us back to ourselves.
Look for these types of signs and don’t be afraid to say to yourself, “I note the emphasis on blah right now. What does it mean?” Often your intuition will supply the answer through something else noticed or felt. By asking, you will begin to develop a vocabulary with your intuition.
Whatever you like about yourself, appreciate that specifically and often. The most important thing is that you feel good. Take it easy on yourself.
Pay attention to your emotions and do something about it when you notice you aren’t feeling good — change your focus! Be open and expansive about allowing yourself to feel good. It’s not easy to let go of how you’ve been thinking, but it’s worth the effort if you want different results.
You are where you are, but you can start again at any time. It doesn’t matter what happened before. What matters is what happens next, and your results going forward are directly related to feeling good now.
When feelings of justified anger arise, find a larger perspective. You can practice diffusing and releasing feelings of anger. Do it for your own wellbeing, not for their sake.
Looking at all the details of the situation fuels the fire. So take the opposite tactic to snuff it out and redirect your creative energy where it can serve you best.
Get general and give the benefit of the doubt if you want to get back to the love side of the scale. You can soften your response to frustration or irritation rather than anger. Soothe yourself. Learn to give “outs” to whoever or whatever you feel angry about. Go as big as you need to in order to feel better.
Give ridiculous outs. Laugh as a silly thought that excuses them pops into your head, and you’ll feel less angry. It’s vital that you do so you can move up to a more powerful feeling on the love side of the scale rather than continuing down the fear side of the scale.
