On Negativity

People can be real jerks sometimes. I know you know that. Just because someone else is choosing to feel miserable or to be negative doesn’t mean you have to let that invade your energy level. You don’t have to focus on that. You can maintain your vibe so they don’t bring you down to theirs. Here’s the trick: Use their negativity as a reminder.

  • Use it as a reminder of how you don’t want to be and why. Hint: One has to be feeling pretty bad to be so negative.
  • Remember that they are free to create just like you are.
  • Use it to remind you of the opposite emotion or vibration and how you do want to feel. This is a technique called “Pivoting” that Esther Hicks coined years ago.
  • Use it appreciation the wisdom you have about how you can focus differently and feel better.
  • Use it to set intentions for how you want to feel going forward.
  • Use it to remember the importance of controlling your focus.

For example, if someone treats you badly or is negative or gruff, instead of letting them dominate the airwaves, use them as a cue in your own mind to think, “Boy, do I appreciate that I’m not miserable or upset or angry like that person.” And then maybe think something like, “That reminds me that I always want to be kind, that I want to be happy, gentle, and kind,” and “It makes me appreciate the goodness I notice in most people.” This reaction is better than getting hung up focusing on their negativity which would certainly bring your vibe down and cause you to notice more negativity in the future.

To the extent that you can clear that type of negativity out of your zone, all the better but it’s not necessary. Even in ongoing relationships, it just takes one person shining brightly to dominate with positive vibes and uplift others by doing so. A big part of it is to realize that you don’t have control of them and what they are choosing to focus on. And, it takes unconditional love. They don’t have to be different in order for you to love them. Understand, they are doing the best they can at the moment, just like you are. Don’t even waste your energy trying to change them. Love them where they are. Keep a light focus if you don’t like what you see, or look the other way. Know they can rise to meet you on a higher level of vibration whenever they want to. They may want to sooner rather than later when they see how much fun you’re having up there.

The Stress Relief Movie

***Video Transcript***

“Is everything as urgent as your stress would imply?”  –Carrie Latet

“What different lives we should lead if we take things by the minute!” –Gilbert-Ann Taylor

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” –Lee Iacocca

“Hope is as cheap as despair.” –Proverb

“In times of stress, be bold and valiant.” –Horace

“They who live in worry invite death to hurry.” –Anonymous

“Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.” –Margaret Fuller

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” –Chinese Proverb

—end transcript —

Goal Setting Process

There is joy to be had by deciding what you want to create in your life, setting a goal to achieve it, and knocking it out.

Goal setting is personal. Finding what works best for you is a trial and error exercise. Most importantly, keep trying!

Take the time to learn what works best for you. Make it a priority to learn about goal management techniques early on. If a method sounds useful to you, try it for a month or so. Check your motivation and results at the end of the month to determine if that system is a keeper.

Keep this in mind too. When there is a goal you don’t reach by the deadline, it’s time to reassess whether that goal is still relevant and whether to keep it on next year’s list. If it is, no harm done, you just estimated wrong about when you could get it accomplished. So put it on the list again and spend time feeling what it will be like to reach that goal while trying again.

If you determine that the missed goal is no longer relevant to you, let it go without worry. It turns out that it was not important enough to focus on in the grander scheme, or maybe the exercise of feeling for it reveals to you that it’s not worthy of your goals list after all. If so, again, let it go.

Learning to let it go is a valuable skill. When you release what you don’t want, you make room for what you do want!

Living in the moment and being fully present is a critical point to remember when goal setting. It can be easy to be distracted by anticipating a future goal or accomplishment that you must achieve before allowing happiness in your life, but be happy now! Even though it is good to outline goals and work towards achievements, it’s most important to enjoy the process.

Goal setting is about creating more of how you want to feel in your life. Set goals to feel good and make your life better even while working to achieve them. If a goal feels as if it will inspire an adventure in your life that you want to participate in, it deserves to be one of your goals.

It is not about shoulds or what other people set as their goals. It’s personal. Goal setting is about what you want, WHAT YOU WANT TO FEEL IN YOUR LIFE.

Does the idea for a goal seem like a drudgery? If so, that’s a sure bet you aren’t ready for it. Take some time to change your attitude about it before you add it to your goals list. It’s also possible that something that seems like it should be your goal may never make your list, and that’s okay. It must be okay; otherwise you spend energy battling yourself and essentially holding yourself back from more enlivening endeavors.

Tap into your creative power and set goals that empower you more, not less. When there is a feeling of increased energy and interest that accompanies an idea for a goal, that is how you know it goes on your list.